According to Oxford Languages, a behaviour is defined as the way we conduct ourselves toward others. Learning about your behaviours, can help you be prepared and be mentally strong when facing life challenges, especially when launching into a transformational journey where you are bound to fall flat on your face at some point.
Recognising behaviours is a skill that can be developed so you feel more in control of your emotional state and fully tuned into your life. Nothing will get past you without you questioning it. To study your own behaviour, you must first learn to become an observer of all things especially yourself. If you are someone who lacks patience and wants everything yesterday then your progress might take a little longer, but it’snot impossible. We are born to learn from our behaviours. Take babies for example. We were all babies at some point. We learnt to lift our heads, and then we crawled before we attempted to walk. The best self taught life lesson about dedication. We all can learn, grow and change. Genuine behavioural change takes time.
One my very first memories was walking along the streets of Surface Paradise on the Gold Coast with my mum and noticing aura-like colours all around which vanished the moment I asked myself what that was. It was like waking up from a dream all bushy-eyed. I think I was about 4 years old. The second thing I noticed was the people. People fascinated me. The way walked, the clothes they wore and their facial expressions. I was hooked on observing others. Not because I was nosy but because I wanted to know what people were like, what triggered them to behave a certain way one day and not the same the next. In the moments, I always recall wanting to understand what made this person tick off. Not to understand him but to maybe not do what made him mad. But it’s during those times of being hit that I felt tremendous empathy for him because I thought, “How awful must it be to be so out of touch with who you are that you allow what seems to be a demonic power, to be taken over your life and guide your hand to do terrible things to others.” The last attack on my 5 year self landed me in hospital. All I could think of was relief that I wasn’t killed but of all deep sadness for my abuser who now looked terrified at the outcome of his actions. Once out of his anger coma, he called the ambulance and I was grateful. I wanted to hug him and tell him it was going to be ok. I was likely in shock more than anything as that’s probably not normal behaviour, but I don’t consider myself to be and that’s ok. Ellas! I had bigger wounds to heal and my mum would never allow him near me again. (Just to note that 99% of the abuse took place when my mother was at work, she never knew the half of it until we spoke about it in my thirties. My mum is a terrific mother and has done a hell of a job with what she had and knew. Just wanted to clear that up).
In the hospital, I observed the nurses who cared for all the other children.
My nurse’s name was Cheryl and I liked her right away because she shared the same name. lol. I wanted to be like her. Kind-hearted, caring and understanding of other’s needs. I wanted to hug all the other kids on the ward and tell them they would be okay. I often forgot I was there for my injuries until I had to take a bath. The pain of changing bandages and the stench of burnt flesh is not for those with sensitive smell.
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