In my forty-plus years on this planet, I can count on less than one hand the number of people I have met who have said they like and enjoy change. Are you one of those? We need to talk.
Let’s be honest, changing is hard. Anyone can change on a superficial level. You can get a new hairstyle, get a new wardrobe, create a new lifestyle, or go on a new diet. It’s not uncommon and there is nothing special about it. But how many people do you know, who want to change from the inside out? Not many because it takes becoming truthful and stop living a lie. To acknowledge that you could be the culprit in your misery is confronting. Especially when it is easier to blame others rather than be accountable for your actions. My dear ones, you can eat all the lettuce leaves in the world, swallow ancient medicine to purge our sinful past, meditate fives a day on our head, and poke toothpicks into potatoes in the hope that the ones who “made” you miserable pay for your suffering, you will never heal your soul and change your attitude with external medicine. I boldly say “never” because your soul knows the way and that is always within. To heal, you must take responsibility for where you are in life. Examine your thoughts, look closely at the actions you are most likely taking every time and learn how to apply empathy where it can serve you as a guide to better understand yourselves and those around you. These are the first steps to a path of finding personal value in the changes you make. Things will be rough for a while but Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither was your life up until this point.
Change has become trendy now. People around the world are sharing their life-changing adventures and vlogging it all for us all to enjoy. We can now view any type of video about how people changed their lives for the better. From body transformations to leaving city life behind to taking up new hope in a seaside town or country farm life. Other common videos are the ones about expanding financially through investing or creating an online business. All those changes are amazing things to share to boost community confidence that anyone can do it. In a world that can often be seen and felt as hostile, people are sharing their experiences in the hope of influencing someone else to do the same.
While all of this is fabulous, change is a thing that seems unattainable at times. It’s so much easier to like a post or comment on someone else’s life wishing it were yours. But please, always remember that their lives will never be yours and nothing is ever as it seems. By this, I mean that although travel vlogs, body transformations, and kids’ milestones are awesome, the way that you would live that life would be completely different because we are simply built differently through our emotions, behaviours, triggers, and reactions. I think it was Warren Buffet, and don’t quote me, who said that if all the wealth in the world was equally divided, the poor would most likely end up poor again and the rich would have increased their wealth. Because at the end of the day, it comes down to mindset and behaviour.
So relating to my introduction, you can eat all the greens in the world and meditate upside all you like, if you are someone who likes to be engrossed in other people’s business, interferes in relationships, or spends your spare time writing negative comments on people social media posts, there is something within you that is triggered by the need to stay negatively geared. To transform yourself into someone you want to be, you must dig deep. I’m not talking about revisiting childhood traumas, although the correct psychotherapy could certainly help. I am talking about facing the truth of who you are and knowing how you function.
Gaining a better understanding of who you are gives you the power to make better life choices. You can free yourself from the past and move forward with confidence within yourself. Tony Robbins once said “Take massive action”. Life is not a rehearsal. Make your time valuable., you owe it to yourself.
There Is No Better Time For Change Than Now
Most of you know how to create and implement the superficial changes. They are quick fixes that make you feel great for a brief moment. But what about when the novelty of those new shoes wears off? What about the rest of your life? Do you want to know yourself so well that nobody can ever take that inner peace away from you? Then it is time to plan the next phase of your life with gusto.
The benefit of coaching or counseling methods is that you can learn about yourself and how to manage life. Life is no picnic. Having the tools to understand yourself helps you to be prepared and mentally strong.
The number one question I would ask anyone struggling with confused thoughts and unwanted behaviours is, “So, what do you want?”
“What a stupid question to ask” you might say but you would be surprised how many people don’t know how to truthfully answer that. I asked this of a woman, We’ll call her Vivienne, who was very upset and yelling at my now husband and me about something she believed we should have done for her. While we couldn’t get a word in, Vivienne’s argument went around in circles and always back to her needs and how it made her feel. So I said, “I hear you, but what is it that you want exactly?” She paused, for the first time in 20 minutes, and said “Good point, I don’t know.” My point is, don’t argue and complain that the world owes you something when you don’t even know what that is. Do yourself and the world a favor and go learn about yourself. Be brave enough to discover the value of personal change for yourself.
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